For those with depression, the Christmas season can be tough

By James Grob, jgrob@charlescitypress.com

Although the holiday season is typically full of fun and celebration, that’s not necessarily the case for someone with depression.

“When you have to deal with families, sometimes it’s not all peaches and roses,” said Shana Lair, mental health peer support specialist for the local peer recovery zone of Plugged-In Iowa, located at the Jordan River Church food bank at 102 N. Main St. in Charles City.

“Sometimes you get invited to family gatherings, and sometimes your anxiety stops you from going, and your family gets mad or takes it personally,” she said.

Several recent studies have debunked the long-held belief that suicide rates rise sharply during the holidays, however the fact remains that Christmastime can be difficult to handle for individuals who have some mental illnesses.

“You hear about families at work, or on social media, that are enjoying the holidays, and you don’t realize that they’re not perfect,” Lair said. “But you lock in on that and feel like there must be something wrong with you, because everyone else is enjoying themselves so much, and it makes you feel inferior.”

Lair started last Tuesday at Plugged-In Iowa, which provides mental health peer support to adults with mental illness. The non-profit organization’s purpose is to educate the public as to the value of peer support, to provide outreach to agencies that are currently utilizing peer support and to support an individual’s recovery through various peer-based services.

“We offer peer support for anyone who has been or is going through a mental health situation,” Lair said. “Having hyper-anxiety, bouts of depression, a bi-polar disorder or any other of the many other disorders out there qualifies you to come see me any time.”

The Charles City location, which opened last summer, is open 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Plugged-In Iowa is based in Cedar Rapids and currently has eight facilities altogether throughout the state. The next-nearest facility, in Mason City, is open five days a week.

The state program is paid for by the county through the Iowa Department of Human Services.

Lair stressed that people from every economic and social level are welcome.

“Mental health does not discriminate and neither do we,” she said.

Lair has been in Charles City 21 years. Originally from New Hampton, she said she has experienced mental illness for herself and through her family. A mental health peer support specialist is someone who has his or her own lived experience with mental illness, but has achieved a level of recovery that allows them to help others who have a mental illness.

“If you can relate, that helps a lot,” she said. “We don’t want to judge people whatsoever, and I certainly wouldn’t do that, having been through that myself.”

Lair said she completely understands what those with mental illness sometimes have to go through during the holidays.

“If you have rift with someone in your family, that can make it insurmountable,” she said. “In addition to mental and emotional reactions, you can have physical reactions. It can absolutely make you sick with flu-like symptoms.”

She suggested that one of the first things people need to do is adjust their expectations.

“You’re not going to have a perfect Beaver Cleaver family — no one does,” said Lair, who added that another issue is loneliness.

“Be proactive — pick up the phone. Don’t sit and wait for someone to contact you,” she suggested. “You are not insignificant — reach out. Someone out there would absolutely love to spend time with you. There may even be someone who you don’t realize is in the same situation you are.

“Try to look outside yourself and serve others,” she said. “A lot of times, when you’re depressed, if you reach out to someone else it can make a difference in their life as well as yours.”

Lair said that if you find yourself alone and unable to do any of those things, just  try to do something to get yourself through the day.

“Read, rent a movie, listen to an audiobook, play solitaire — anything like that to help get you through.” she said.

Lair also suggested eating or going to sleep when you feel the need, not when the schedule says you should.

“Things seem five to 10 times worse when you’re tired or hungry,” she said. “There’s no shame in going to bed early.”

Plugged-In Iowa will not be open on Christmas Day, but Lair said she would be there on Thursday this week. She is busy planning upcoming events, such as a live webcast watch on New Year’s Day with inspirational speaker Joe Low.

Lair plans on having similar live webcasts in the future, as well as “lunch-and-learn” events. Some of those events will touch on seasonal depression, diet and how it impacts depression, help with tax returns and personal budgeting.

Other days people can come in and just play games and relate, or watch movies.

“This is a very informal setting,” Lair said. “When we say ‘peer support’ that means that you come in and maybe we talk and have an opportunity to share our stories.”

Everything at Plugged-In Iowa is free, although Lair said that in the future there may be opportunities for paid individual one-on-one peer support, where specialists can even come to a person’s home.

“And if there’s a pressing issue or a need somewhere, I am here to either direct them the right way or help them figure it out,” she said.