Advice about grief during the holidays

Advice about grief during the holidays

The holiday season is upon us and with that brings feelings of excitement and anticipation for many people. For someone grieving the death of a loved one, the holidays are filled with mixed emotions about what to do, even more so if it is the first Christmas without them. Communicating about expectations for this holiday season is very important amongst grievers. Here are some suggestions to consider during this time of year:

n Keep traditions that feel comfortable and eliminate those that

no longer feel right.

n Create new rituals or traditions and remember you can change it again next year.

n Prepare their favorite dish and bring it to a holiday party.

n Allow yourself time alone as well as time for others by volunteering for a cause in their memory.

n Include children and grandchildren in decisions about holiday or remembrance activities.

If you are supporting someone who is grieving, remember people react to grief in different ways.

Consider the following:

n They may want closeness of family or friends and at other times need space and quiet time for their grief

n Share your own memories of the deceased and use their name

n You are not expected to say magic words that will make their grief “better”

n Check in with the bereaved periodically as support is often needed for months following a death, not just the first days and weeks.

May this holiday season bring comfort, strength, peace and hope to you.

Kathryn Mills, Autumn Hawver, and Joyce Sherman Bereavement Staff